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haqiadila

Live. For you will see how you will write your own history.

write what you do, do what you write

A well known proverb says, “write what you do, do what you write”. This blog is the place for me to remind myself on that.

Because like some other people, I tend to forget.

Featured post

“She Believed She Could, So She Did!”

It’s been a while, isn’t it? So many things have happened in my life the past few months. Nanti kalau ada yang asyik untuk dibagi (dan saya nggak malas), saya akan tulis di sini.

Melanjutkan postingan ini, saya mau update Resolusi Agustus 2017 saya. Sekadar kilas balik, roller coaster berat badan saya di usia dewasa ini secara garis besar timeline-nya begini:

Continue reading ““She Believed She Could, So She Did!””

Jatuh Hati di Starbucks The Darmawangsa Square

Selama hampir 6 tahun menetap di Jakarta, baru di bulan Oktober 2016 kemarin saya menginjakkan kaki di The Darmawangsa Square. Kalau lewat sih sering, terutama kalau mau ke rumah keluarga saya di daerah Kebayoran Lama. Awalnya saya ke sini karena harus mengurus tiket Garuda yang cukup urgent padahal saat itu hari Minggu. Berdasarkan informasi dari call center, office yang buka di hari libur salah satunya ada di The Darmawangsa Square ini.

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[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 7: Acceptance – Losing Hope

Is losing hope considered as acceptance?

Does letting go mean acceptance as well?

If so, then yes. I have come to the acceptance stage.

I have lost all my hope for him to stay in the show. I have lost all my hope that Gary and Ji Hyo can be real. I have lost my hope that Monday Couple is real. I have lost all my hope that everything I thought was true is actually true.

And I am letting him go. I am letting Monday Couple go. I am letting my hope go.

If this is meant to be, then be it.

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 6: Depression – 11 July 2010 to 6 November 2016

So here I am, a few hours after his last episode was aired. I have not slept at all, nor have I watched that episode. I just can’t.  The pain is just too much. His last episode was all over instagram, I have been trying hard not to see. But. Still.

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 6: Depression – 11 July 2010 to 6 November 2016”

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 5: Anger – WHY???

I am angry at Gary; why does he have to be so great and lovable for 6 years and then suddenly leave like this? Why does he have to be so loving to Ji Hyo, why does he have to maintain Monday Couple on screen, and then eventually end it? Why does he have to release high quality albums and singles during his time in Running Man, and then suddenly decide to leave under the reason that he wants to focus and study on music?

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 5: Anger – WHY???”

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 4: Guilt – Is it Because of Us?

We all know that Gary is a free spirit. He is humble and pure. He doesn’t act, he doesn’t betray. He is loyal and true. He is one of the most honest person we’ve known. His true self might not be what we expect him to be. Maybe without we know it, we have been putting too much burden on his shoulder. We’ve been burdening him with our expectation. Maybe it’s because of us, he can’t be his true self.. and finally he decided to leave.

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 4: Guilt – Is it Because of Us?”

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 3: Bargaining – I Don’t Even Know What to Bargain

If only I could, I would bargain him not to leave. He could stay and produce music as he’d like. He could hold concert any place he’d like, anytime he’d like. There wouldn’t be any filming on his concerts day, or the day he would write lyrics.

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 3: Bargaining – I Don’t Even Know What to Bargain”

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 2: Denial – “Are You Going to Date Me or Not?”

Exactly how many times did I hear him ask that question to Song Ji Hyo? I can’t recall, but I can vividly remember his comical face every time he pops that question up. I know Monday Couple is long gone, but for the past few episodes I can still see them as Gary & Ji Hyo. If he leaves, then what do I have? What do all Monday Couple shippers have? All of us know that both Kang Gary and Leessang are not the type of musicians who promote their music in TV shows, let alone variety shows. Since I’m thousands kilometers away, then what do I have? What do all Kang Gary and Leessang fans have?

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 2: Denial – “Are You Going to Date Me or Not?””

[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 1: Shock or Disbelief – “Hello, I’m Kang Gary Who Lives in Jamsil.”

It was just like yesterday when he first introduce himself as Kang Gary who lives in Jamsil.

Continue reading “[7 Stages of Grief] Stage 1: Shock or Disbelief – “Hello, I’m Kang Gary Who Lives in Jamsil.””

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